Afflicting the Comfortable

Blessings of Being Awake: I laugh with myself
as I think 'i am a sign watcher', like the main character in The Alchemist. When I hear a phrase more than once in different contexts or I see a pattern of information coming my way i think 'oh, i need to pay attention, this is for me.'

Since my mother died and my daughters and i emptied her home i have taken on the task of simplifying my life and my home. I have been digging through the boxes hidden in the back of the closet, reviewing my life through the things I have held onto and now I no longer think i need as a reminder of an amazing life. When I came across my ordination certificate, I stopped and read it. The wording is clear and powerful and reminds me of my charge. And 'comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable' had been sitting quietly in my mind.

And then, yesterday when I was listening to Jay Michaelson speak on spirituality I heard him say the same phrase. For me these twice repeated phrases were in alignment with my visceral awareness and the connected thoughts that say, ' it is time to go deeper and push the edges of your comfort zone.' Naturally as I put this all together I want to know what it means and where wi am to practice this afflicting. I want to imagine what I cannot imagine so that I can be the captain of my ship and director of my home movie. And, deep breath, I have no idea what this afflicting will look like or where it will happen.

Spiritual Challenges: Last week's Torah portion involves the continuing saga of the dueling dialogue between Pharaoh and his hardened heart and Moshe and his un-cirmcumcised lips. At one point Pharaoh said 'go, but only take certain people.' Moshe counters with, 'no, as i will not know how i am to serve G!D until i get there'. This phrase has been so helpful to me. It helps me notice when the mind is plotting away and to stop planning and practicing before it is my turn to speak. It reminds me to listen and sp in the moment. And when I remember that I truly know nothing, i know this is a moment to support my desire to strengthen the mind to stay Here. I do not need to plan for the future that I think i can not only predict but also plan for. As Here is the only place I have any control over. My mother's tragic death and her nearing 92nd birthday are vivid reminders of that truth.

Spiritual Practice: So again I am sitting with the Kavannah, the deep intention of my heart, to learn and then practice how to afflict the comfortable; to go deeper and to not let being politically correct keep me from deeper conversations and to be transparent and to be honest. To help me have what i want, an open heart that includes me. I only have to love me as if i were my own lover, i do not have to take care of people who can take care of themselves.
Blessings of the Vav: I can continue to open my heart to include me, to notice the fear and work with it, not run from it and to notice that under the fear is a tender heart that only wants connection to herself, to others and her Divine nature.