Thursday, April 24, 2008

The Vav as a Symbol of Paradox

There she stands, the Vav, erect, with her little hook on top amidst the six directions holding all, being the center of all there is. The Vav connects differences that need to be held in order to appreciate the whole for only when we know all options can we move forward and not feel caught as victims in our life.
Lately I have heard myself saying I must embrace the paradox when I have been in conversation with people who feel confronted with a dilemma and are needing to make choices between two options. They feel frozen in time not liking either choice or are choosing to check out and not even look back at what they are leaving because it is too painful.
I listen to them feeling their frustration and I listen to me waiting for something to arise where I can offer another perspective. As a sensitive I feel what they feel and am blinded by fear, old habits locking me into a rut that has become so familiar it seems to fit perfectly. And in the silence of no words I breathe deeply asking Ayecha, where are you? Somehow I am awakened and become the sixth letter of Hebrew Wisdom the Vav who sees in all directions and am unlocked from whatever has held me captive, free to be clear in a vision for the next moment and I speak what the Vav has offered. And I see a smile or hear 'I had not thought of that' and I say a prayer of gratitude for another life has been saved.

Blessings of the Vav: being given the opportunity of taking a deep breathe to live in the silence without fear and to appreciate all possibilities including self love.

Monday, April 7, 2008

This Nearly Was Mine

Blessings of being awake: While walking this morning I found myself singing 'This Nearly was Mine'. I had heard the rendition at a show the other night and it had left a vivid impression. In my heart I felt the yearning of the song writer as I remembered hearing Itzio Pinza singing of his lost love in South Pacific. 'This nearly was mine?' I said to myself. I answered 'What was nearly mine. What did I miss out on and what really is mine?' 'No thing and everything' was the response.
Spiritual challenge:The truth is nothing is mine and when I get caught up in all the absoluteness of a two year old I can only bring myself to a very narrow place. My idea, my thought, my whatever separates me from the world. Even the thought that I missed out on something only brings sadness and doing it not right in my heart. As a teenage mother who still thinks her daughter is hers this is a call to wake to the truth that she never was mine and will always be my daughter to share with the world.
In Mystical Hebrew Wisdom the physical world, the world of doing, is perfect just the way it is. It might not be how I would want it to be and yet this is what I got.
Spiritual Practice: So again I am given another choice of noticing the feeling and choosing how to interpret the emotion, what thought to give it. Since I do not know the ending, I will just notice the feeling and wonder and choose not to prophesize. Since this is Nisan, the month when we honor the story of the Exodus of the Hebrews from Egypt I am singing another song; 'I am opening up to sweet surrender to the luminous love light of the One. This is mine, my heritage,my faith, my G!D.
Blessings of the Vav: when we hold it all and it feels too much to hold let it go, give it up and be just here.