Blessings of Being Awake: I am aware of the disharmony in my body-mind-spirit universe that shows its head when I am confronted with unkind tones from an other. I do not like it. And I cannot figure out how to let the other know. The words are given to me feel sharp, dull and neither my heart nor mind is prepared and I am silent only responding from a place of fear of disconnection. I am in the midst of a monologue that I thought was a dialogue. And I can do it to others, too. I came home recently from a visit with my mother not liking myself. I was disappointed that I had not kept my promise to myself to be kind to her. I was attempting to break a family pattern. And sometimes I am not capable of pulling it off. Sometimes when I attempt to set boundaries I am awkward and my language patterns and my emotional intelligence are limited. I am feeling stunted.Spiritual Challenge: Being loving-kind to myself when I do not live up to my own standards of behavior. To laugh instead of digging in the knife to cut out the bad stuff. And begin to peel off the outward layers of self doubt and getting to the core, my pure soul. And I remember to sing and LOL at and with me.
Spiritual Practice: Each day as I awake and look out at the water and trees and listen to the birds chirping and watch my chest rise and fall with each breath, I will remember I have free will and loving-kindness is a choice on the list of options and I can put myself at the top of that list.
MULKA: a virtual reality sponsored by the Society of the Vav.
Blessings of the Vav: I am complete and the story dynamically continues! TG!!!!
1 comment:
I can relate to that sense of disappointment - not living up to our expectations of ourselves as we try to break patterns learned through our family relationships. Thanks for the reminder that sharing loving-kindness with ourselves is a choice that we can make anew, each moment of every day. I wish you well on your journey to make that choice more often than not. Namaste. Jude
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