I am sitting having lunch looking out at the gorgeous blue sky and wide expanse of water dotted with white boats.
And my eyes wisp by my car, also outside my window, and something is not right. The color on the back of the car has changed. Then I remember my new license plate! And I wake up and laugh!
There are so many things like that happening as I adjust mentally and emotionally to my new space, town and culture. So many things to learn. So much to understand to be emotionally safe here and feel like I am a contributing member to my chosen community. Funny how important it is to me to give.
And I think about automatic thinking and mindfulness. And how I live my life depending on things being the same. Like a blind person who learns their space and gets thrown off balance when things change. Am I that blind woman, yearning for the familiar? Yes and.......
And I am a teacher and practitioner of improvization, mindfulness practice and compassion and loving-kindness. And I laugh as I am still learning. I am not ready to 'catch the wave'!
And the enlightenment I yearn for? It happens in moments only! I smile at my settling with this knowing.
And I notice how inter-dependent I am on everything that happens to keep me awake. Soon I will be blowing my shofar every day to remind me to wake up and come home to my true self. Some days the shofar will be just another experience to add to all the others, like the change in color of my license plate, to keep me awake as I walk the path, laughing at the gifts that welcome me home. And I do not have to do anything except to keep walking and staying awake.
Deep breath!!!
1 comment:
Thank you for pointing out the tendency to live our lives "depending on things being the same." This view does not correspond to the true nature of things, which is always changing. So many of our disappointments come from our unwillingness or inability to see and accept the world as it is, rather than the way we might wish it to be. Even to make beneficial changes to those things that are within our power to change, it is essential that we first see into their true nature. Otherwise, even the best aimed of our arrows of intention will fail to hit the mark.
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