Thursday, February 17, 2011

Tiiiime is On My Side, Oh, Yes It Is!

I awoke to singing along with the Rolling Stones' famous quote and lines from their song, as I was reading a story by a friend who responded to my request to help me get a grip on making a friend of time.

By the way, I am getting loads of help on this project, including Gila and Ginny knowing it was the Stones' song I had floating in my head. Ginny even wrote that they first sang it on the Ed Sullivan Show! How many of you remember that show? LOL!

If I think of time as a friend then there are no 'dead' lines, just 'do' dates. When I am 'hooked in', as my astrologer friend Dale says, then I am in the flow with the universe. And mystical Judaism tells of the transcendent soul being in alignment with the imminent soul, so the the outside soul can drip its wisdom into the inside soul. That is called being in mazel tov! Right place, right time.

In my limited experience of consciousness, that state takes loads of self trust, reflection, listening, breathing, stopping, laughing at myself, faith in something bigger than me and a letting go of what I think is right by someone else's standard; being in integrity with me and the universe.

Here is J's story that she said: " I threw my brother, his wife and sons and daughter-in-laws out of my house some 13 years ago when he said something so violent to my partner & his sons. They were disturbed. I asked my brother about this and he said he did not know what they were talking about and besides I used the wrong words....this response (manipulative verbiage from a brother who went for his doctorate in semantical philosophy, on top of his wife criticizing the food I had prepared for Passover and stating that she hated being in my home,etc.) I stated that I am valuable, my friends are valuable and I will not tolerate that kind of verbal insult and ugliness. They laughed and made fun of me. I went to the door and ushered them all out with the comment that they are not welcomed back into my home. That did not stop me from calling them , from time to time, to stay connected and know that some day we may fall back into another kind of rhythm. Literally a dozen years passed with me calling , about twice a year, knowing that my brother is important to me and he will grow in his own time OR not, I will be here when that happens. It happened and we are respectfully back in each others lives with a few actual face to face encounters ( at his home and in neutral territory). I have not invited them to my home yet and talked with them about them processing, in their way, the reactions they had to my home. I did not need to hear them; however, I do not want any more facial and verbal negative reactions to me or my home. They need to determine when that time is to reenter. I can wait because time is right now as I type this, as time was when I convulsed with agony at my decision to usher them out of my home. I revisited the pain many times and was sure that I could live with whatever outcome as I am so certain of non attachment and attachment and impermanence, etc. In this case my rewards is that we are again together, though their are moments that are a bit precarious. Noticing my behavior and response to a situation is important and I am ok with having violent, unwholesome reactions too. They do not last long, time is my friend, time is short and I am OK with not practicing my belief 100%. It is another moment in time to keep learning and doing and re-doing. PLUS I really do not want everything to be so calm....I think that is too boring too; I like the various tonalities that come from me as an imperfect human being. AND I keep track of when enough is enough and that is TIME based. "

As I re-read this story, I am preparing to facilitate a workshop on trust. And Covey says, "nothing is a fast as the speed of trust." And writes of this at the personal and professional levels. I think how quickly we cover our heart and how long it takes to uncover the heart and feel safe and build trust.

When I have tiiiiime on my side, being present to me and the universe, then perhaps i am moving toward making a friend of time. So, if i weave my meditation practice into this equation, then when i notice without judging, and stay with me in all my emotions, thoughts, visceral response to the moment, then i am in NOW and my response is current and 'spot on!'

Laughing at me, I leave you to continue the quest of learning about time by working at work responsibilities.

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