I am Yearning for the Familiar

And the child will lead them: Etta Grace's joy as she steers the boat has reminded me of my leadership commitment to joy as I am my leading myself back to Home, yet again! LingOL at the never ending learning life I have chosen!

I have been away from my physical home for five days now and everything is new; people, food, room, bed! Even turning on the faucet is a learning experience! And I do not go home for four more days of newness!

So much new and I feel grounded and flowing as I continue to be mindful and to do my rituals of chanting and meditation. And the work I am doing is good! I am being creative and myself. And yet, I am feeling like I am missing something. And there is no one I want to speak with, no one but me to fill the missing-ness.

So I pulled out my iPod and began to listen to the music and I noticed the tears falling down my cheek as my heart began to open again. Oh, that is what has been happening, I have covered my heart! I have disconnected with a part of myself. I have managed to avoid the other feelings that arise when I am traveling and excited about the adventure.

And the people around me are loving and I am not receiving, as I am in a "back up-armor on" stance. I am the cat who is feels unsafe and the woman who is missing the familiar. Oh, Halleluyah! for these quiet moments of self discovery! I am eternally grateful for solitude taken and self love given.

The joy has been there all along and I have not been in alignment and I have forgotten my commitment: stop, listen and reflect. And now I will go for a swim, laughing out loud at and with myself. Returning home is a moment to celebrate!