A New Name, A New Relationship

Origami; Making Hope Come Alive, Peace Park, Hiroshima, Japan
Blessings of Being Awake: In this most holy month of Elul, when we blow the Shofar everyday to remind us to wake up and come back to our true self, I am choosing to focus on something to prepare my soul and being-ness for the new year 5771. I have chosen to change my relationship with the three letter word for the Mystery of All Life, Blessing Bestower. These three letters, g-o-d, have lost their luster with me and have become more problematic than supportive and loving. There is an emptiness when I say this word. And now that my parents are dead and I am an orphan who must truly take care of me as there is no one else to do this, I am sensing a becoming of a more aliveness and as Rabbi Dovid Zeller, of blessed memory sings, believing in this aliveness as me. I have choosen a name for this Divine Ayn Sof, The One Without End that is Unending Love that empowers me and speaks to my wholeness. And for now it is HaRachamana, the Compassionate One. And I am smiling.
Spiritual Challenge: To remember that I am holy and I am HaRachamana, without judging the forgetting of falling back into the old familiar patterns of doubt. And to remember that I can hold Me as HaRachamana holds me and I can empty my body of anything that is not needed to be held any longer. Letting me back into my heart and my womb, and as Mystical Hebrew teaches, I am being the androgynous giver and receiver that I am.
Spiritual Practice:Breathing in the name, noticing my visceral reaction; breathing out the name and noticing the body's response. HaRachamana lives within for those moments I am awake and even when I am asleep walking through my life.
Blessings of the Vav: There is no end to what the mind can imagine and if i connect the dots, all the dots, i can begin to feel included in the the ten thousand things, no longer an outsider. When I listen to me, the HaRachamana, there is only possibilities.