Collecting The Dots of Being 'Gotten'

Divine Sparks Creating the Universal Force Field
Blessings of Being Awake: There have been moments in my life when i feel I had been 'gotten'! There was no need to try to be any one else but me. And I felt the tenderness, the acceptance, the joy right down to my core that did not need to hide, be politically correct or 'hush-up'. Those are rare moments when I have met some one who knows me better than I know me, the Self that walks too often in fear, loneliness, straight-jacketed.
Staying home this summer, making my travels purely domestic, has offered me the opportunity to open my heart to me and the struggles of re-learning how to love me, by remembering those who knew what it was like to be different and found me in the crowd of their life, and bestowed their kindness in their joy of finding clan.
One of the dots I am collecting was James Kavanaugh, a poet who came to Aiken, SC in the early 70's, thanks to my friend Beverly, to share his work and self. He was my family's guest for a dinner filled with being seen with chesed, loving kindness. He wrote 'Wisdom is not taught. Systems are taught. Wisdom comes from experiencing life.' And my dear therapist Tim reminded me that being mindful of the experience in one's body-mind-spirit is the gift we give ourselves to help us 'get' ourselves! And to experience the experience I must be awake.
Spiritual Challenge: I am beginning to collect the dots, the moments, the experiences when i was 'gotten' and name them and celebrate those courageous souls. And what I am beginning to notice, is that what i learned from them unconsciously, I am passing forward. And I do, when i am kind, laugh at life, ask for a name, listen to a story, cry with someone, offer to sit beside someone in their pain, celebrate the joy of a triumph. That is my job and my life's work is to learn that what I do for others I must do for me, too. I know loneliness, too well. And I have been touched by the light, the ner tamid, eternal light of these holy souls.
Spiritual Practice: I often say 'I am blessed' when asked how I am doing by strangers. I say it not because I was feeling blessed in the moment before i was asked. I do it to remind me of the blessings bestowed upon me when i was not even looking. By collecting these dots, I am collecting the blessings of the many experiences i have been gifted with by the Souls who 'got' me. And in this holy month of Elul, I am asking them for fogiveness for not telling them 'thank you'. And I am forgiving myself for not noticing their light they so generously shared with me.
Blessings of the Vav: Jim has died without me telling him thank you. And I will share this blog entry with his family. www.lifestorynet.com The Vav, is so holy in holding the linking energy and the individuality of the self. I have been blessed to listen to my heart that sits in the emotional state of the body and honor the words that came to me by creating this blog. There is a Society of the Vav and it is coming alive like me.