Sunday, October 18, 2009

LOL


Blessings of Being Awake: I heard myself laughing with a burst of energy I smile now in remembering the moment. Miryam and I had been talking about our meditation experiences and the thought crossed my mind 'i can be the rabbi and practice Buddhist teachings' and still be a good enuff Jew. I felt like I had been released from the straight jacket i was trying to fit into. 'Either or', i could hear the mind saying, 'you cannot have both!' Is that really true?, I quickly responded. I am a Vav-nik and i can have both and i can live 'the and life' that i am trying to promote in the world. I am blending Hebrew Wisdom and Buddhist practice in my life, why hide behind a facade of untruth.
Spiritual Challenge: I have to laugh at myself as I know 'we teach what we need to learn' and being a Vav-nik is more than passing out cards; it is actually doing the work, living the values I deem mine. Being alone, quiet, introspective is essential to my mental health and creativity. And in striving to remain in the world and honor the other part of me I also need conversations where we share ideas, thoughts held close to the heart, rarely verbalized. I need to get out of my head the words that when spoken take on a different tension and begin to have an energy and beauty that completes me.
Spiritual Practice: To remember the laughter so freely emoted and how wonderful it felt. To continue to believe in miracles and like Sarah, I too can bring forth a child a 99, i can bring together opposing forces and find a renewed path for myself.
Blessings of the Vav: it is never over until the fat lady sings. I am not sure what that means and i do know I can continue to learn, expose myself to new experiences and collaborations and not lose me, just most humbly deepen my relationship with the Mystery of Life.

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