Blessings of being awake:I love hearing the word transparency and my visceral response to experiencing the directness of stating the facts is to light up inside and feel clean like a shiny squeaky clean baby’s bottom! And I am aware of how what I know and do not speak out loud gets in the way of what I do say! Often I wish I were a child again with no inhibitions or like my father was at the end of his life…just say it like it is, TZiPi! Several TV interviews that I watched and some collaborative meetings lately have been like this for me and I revel in those moments of speaking from my heart and there is a desire for wanting more!
Spiritual Challenge: Transparency demands a lot of me. I have to acknowledge my emotions in the moment and then step through the barriers they may create to the other side that is truth in that moment, as Fritz and Bodaken call MMOT, The Managerial Moment of Truth and write can improve performance and increase productivity. As I step forward into the unknown I am deepening a relationship with myself and only through this disclosing am I acknowledging what is, clearing the air and in the language of ballroom dancing creating a frame of connection so we each are moving into building a relationship of mutual pleasures. And my behavior is reflecting that I believe that what I say is important in that moment. I do not have to hide the conversation in some corner or wait for the perfect moment. The other night I was at a large table of friends celebrating a birthday and looking across the table I saw some friends that I wanted to ask about a ride to the airport. I hesitated and then gave myself permission to not wait until another time. I felt awkward talking in public about a private thing and as I spoke the world did not fall apart. In fact I heard about my friend’s mom and his concerns about her health. And I felt free and unencumbered. And I wondered about waiting to tell someone you love her and how many sad stories I have heard about missing the moment.
Spiritual Practice: I will set an intention to notice what I value and try to be in integrity with myself and consistent. To stay awake to what I believe and just live it! Oy Vay! What a discipline this requires and "to do my best" as Ruiz reminds me in The Four Agreements. And as the teachings of Hebrew Wisdom inform my life, discipline brings me closer to the Divine and the truth that we are all One heart beating. And isn’t that what we all want to not feel alone and to be able to cut through the ‘crap’ or the unsaid and get to the core of the issue. Unpeeling the layers is an art and takes lots of practice. And keeping my mouth open and breathing deeply assists in breaking an old pattern of silence, keeping my mouth shut for fear of reprisal and avoiding the truth and what the consequences will bring to an already dysfunctional system.
The truth is I am learning that I can take care of myself. So I am following my voice coach’s teaching to relax the muscles of my face and allow the smile to emerge and reflect the joy in my heart. And to continue to be aware what keeps me silent and what I experience when I let out the words springing from this heart. I set an intention to speak as readily as I purchase a gift for my daughters giving it to them immediately instead of waiting for a birthday, Chanukah or the next time I see them. Hebrew Wisdom teaches each moment is a beginning so I will be a beginner as the Llama in Nepal suggested we all are.
Blessings of the Vav: I am complete and the story dynamically continues! TG!!!!
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