‘And’ Expands My Heart and My Perspective

Blessings of being awake: Recently I have noticed that the anger I had been harboring toward my father since he died has slowly been receding. I even said something nice about him the other day. I was surprised and then it happened again when later that week I spontaneously quoted his favorite phrase, ‘we need each other’. I was puzzled as I thought I had left his legacy off of my agenda through my decision that I was not going to stand on his shoulders. Then I began to notice the tightness in my chest soften when I thought of him and of his G!D. This emotional shift seems to have brought a different perspective.
Spiritual Challenge: I need to set an intention to remember that everything changes and to notice that there is always something I am not seeing and if I open my eyes perhaps I can see what on first glance is hidden. I want to believe that neither the joy nor the pain is forever and that if I do not harbor the pain and make myself a victim or a hero to my emotions and thoughts that this too will pass and I will and can let go of what is no longer useful to the nurturing of my soul. And that is what Harville Hendrix teaches in Keeping the Love You Find, there is a healing that happens when you stick in relationships long enough to heal those childhood wounds even with the dead.
Spiritual Practice: I said to a client the other day she might want to try the phrase ‘ I know nothing.’ She did not like this so I added the other half of the truth…'I am a very smart woman and I know nothing.' She liked the blending of these two truths. Since this conversation I have found myself laughing and saying that phrase and being an opening my heart and being curious. Moving beyond the narrow place, that we call in my tradition Mitzrayim, the Egypt of our slavery, and gaining perspective is for me like sitting in meditation, not moving, just allowing the sounds, sensations, feelings, thoughts to be noticed and give myself the option of keeping them around or letting them go and noticing what arises next. I need lots of practice off the cushion to do this. Sometimes I can do it for my clients better than I can do it for me.

So I will continue to attempt to do for me what I do for them. ..not to be a slave to thoughts or emotions that distract me from being kind and loving to me the core teaching of Hebrew Wisdom, it is all about love. These seven weeks between Passover and Shavuot are opportunities to refine my soul to prepare for receiving our holy teachings. Using the priestly letter Vav that connects heaven and earth in my life as a tool to gain perspective is my pilgrimage home.
Blessings of the Vav: I am complete and the story dynamically continues! TG!!!!