Tuesday, December 30, 2008

There is Nothing Sorry About You

Blessings of Being Awake: I am aware that I am hearing the word sorry very often lately. For example; 'I am sorry I shut the door in your face' or 'I am so sorry about your mother's death' or 'so sorry I did not mean to hurt you' or 'I am so sorry I forgot to call and say thank you for the gift.' It seems people are trying to be kind and regretful of their behavior and others' unhappiness and in the the use of the phrase 'I'm sorry' they are not saying what they really mean. I'm sorry is used in place of 'Wow, I wasn't watching the door' or 'you must be experiencing so many emotions at you mother's death' or 'my intention was not to hurt you' or 'oops that was not kind of me to not let you know I received your gift'.

Spiritual Challenge : When someone speaks to me those words I have been saying 'there is nothing sorry about you.' If they are paying attention they usually smile and agree with me. I do not want to be right. I want to remind others and me to live up to our bigness. I am trying to go beyond my disappointment and anger and frustration when I sent our holiday gift-checks and heard nothing! I had to dig deep this time to care for myself, to look at what I have and choose down stream thinking! Saying thank you to those who bring me to the untruth thoughts of separation and isolation takes a lot of inner work. Since I have chosen to love me I am working hard to take deep breaths and think in 'ands' and paradoxes.

Spiritual Practice: Knowing there is nothing sorry about me and I have chosen 'peace of mind' over being stuck in narrow places and a slave to my thoughts I am choosing to act in truth and love as if the amazing people in my life are interrelated with me and to reach out to them. I decided that when I do not hear from them I am no longer going to linger or wonder or wait. I texted them to find out if they received the gifts. And what gifts I received, more than I ever expected, a continued and deepened relationship! Another gift from You, thank us for staying in touch!
Blessings of the Vav: I am complete and the story dynamically continues! TG!!!!

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