This post was originally written as if mediation had saved my life and now I was onto other things. The truth is that meditation was the first step toward learning to live with me and the world and my evolving mindfulness practice where I am being kind to my self, opposing the mind that loves to doubt, judge, numb and suffer. I have changed the title of this essay to reflect an on going meditation practice. So when you read this essay take that into consideration. Thank you.
Blessings of Being Awake: So again I am giving attention to the fractals in my life and oh how I love patterns that repeat themselves as within them I feel held and order reigns. And I know better than that as even each part of a fractal is not the same they just fall together in love.
I have also noticed that I am talking with several of my coaching clients more regularly of the importance of having a spiritual practice. I often use myself as a model for them and when I tell them about my meditation practice that developed into a mindfulness practice I often use the phrase ‘it saved my life.’ And I believe it did.
In September of 1996, right before the rainy season, I arrived on the island of Koh Pang Ghan in the south of Thailand and hired a young man to carry me and my backpack up the mountain on his motor scooter. I was on my way to the Buddhist monastery
Wat Kow Tom for ten days of silence. Rosemary and Steven were the best teachers I ever experienced. They did everything in their power to make it emotionally safe to just be; provided an order of the day with written instructions available to all on the dining room bulletin board, followed through with what they said they would do as have the times of our personal schedules displayed at a certain time and modeled their simple teachings. Those ten days were full of learnings and experiences I value to this day and say a deep thank you!
Spiritual Challenge: My new teachers knew about the mind that loves to wander even race from thought to thought, emotion to emotion. They knew the mind loves to suffer. And they knew we were here to make the world a better place. I knew the first two were true; I had lived what all they spoke of. And I was grateful to have lived as long to learn I am not alone. From my Hebrew Wisdom teaching I understand making the world a better place, Tikkun Olam-healing the world- and with self love I am learning I can be a part of making a difference.
Now with an opening heart carefully being circumcised I can appreciate the universal truths of Hebrew Wisdom that keep me mindful of the moment helping me to learn to live with my Self in peace, Shalom, and as Shalem, whole. Distractions come like fractals challenging me to stay true to me and my values of ‘that is all we need is love…da da da da da.’ I remember a long time ago balking at some young women students who told me they loved me; what do they know of love I thought to myself while being graciously polite. Now I do beleive that more and more each day.
Spiritual Practice: To believe and act on the truth that the Body is my holy friend, the Indwelling Presence of the Divine. From paying attention to Her I learn what to eat, when to sleep, when to stay away from something and when to do more! And I have so much still to learn as I am just a beginner.
For at least two years and every day at the Monastery I said the following words and when I said them as a mantra the mind eventually settled down and the heart opened to possibilities:
May I have great compassion for myself as I notice and then let go of the fear, anger, worry, doubt and ignorance, may I preserve my well being
May I continue to have the patience, courage, wisdom and faith to face the problems and challenges that come my way, may I have peace of mind.
My spiritual practice is evolving with prayer, solitude, creativity and building deeper relationships with my G!D, me and others in my life; the many pieces and multiple realities of an improvisational life. I am a Vav-nik of course what else could be true? I read
The Shack a few weeks ago and was surprised at how it helped deepen my G!D link. When in tight places I call out 'Mah Yakar Hasedecha', how Precious is Your Loving Kindness' or recite in Hebrew the 13 attributes of G!D and find myself back in relationship with Her and me at least until the next distraction.
Blessings of the Vav: I am complete and the story dynamically continues! TG!!!!
Blessings of Being Awake: I am aware that I am hearing the word sorry very often lately. For example; 'I am sorry I shut the door in your face' or 'I am so sorry about your mother's death' or 'so sorry I did not mean to hurt you' or 'I am so sorry I forgot to call and say thank you for the gift.' It seems people are trying to be kind and regretful of their behavior and others' unhappiness and in the the use of the phrase 'I'm sorry' they are not saying what they really mean. I'm sorry is used in place of 'Wow, I wasn't watching the door' or 'you must be experiencing so many emotions at you mother's death' or 'my intention was not to hurt you' or 'oops that was not kind of me to not let you know I received your gift'.
