Today I took my first portraiture class. A friend had recommended it and when I thought about the experience I got very excited. I love to doodle and my journals are filled with fun drawings only lately have I tried to be less of an impressionist and more of a realistic with eye pleasing results.
During the class I concentrated so deeply that I was not aware of anyone just the face of the woman and the paper and my hand moving the pencil. At some point the teacher came over to me and her voice brought me back into the room. She made some comment about distance and shape and I realized all my concentration was not getting it ‘right.’
This is hard I thought and I felt like a beginner, humbled by the steep learning curve that lay ahead. And when I said out loud ‘this is humbling’ my teacher responded ‘and exciting and challenging’, too. She was right. I had put myself into a new situation where I was learning and I felt awkward, like a beginner. And I had a choice as to how to proceed.
I remembered the Llama in Nepal telling me that we are all beginners when I told him I was just learning Buddhism. I breathed deeply and felt more equal with him and more able to listen. So I decided to get out of my way of being perfect and just have fun and love the drawing I did even if the eyes were not geographically correct.
I like consciously giving myself permission to have fun being a beginner. I wondered about my clients and how they deal in new territory. Nothing is ever the same as each moment is unique so laughing is essential, especially at myself. I can live a more erotic life that way.
No comments:
Post a Comment