Prayer to a Compassionate G!D

Yesterday I was listening to a radio show where the participants were talking about the power of prayer that helped them pass the amendment that would not only limit my rights and other lesbian and gay people in Florida and California but the rights of many people who choose not to marry and live together. I wonder who is their God who takes sides to discriminate against me?

I have a friend whose body is filled with cancerous tumors and we are beginning a prayer circle for her through the Internet. I believe in praying for healing that is about self love. What is so different about this kind of prayer? I am asking for something that does not exclude some one else's human rights.

I am asking myself why I did not consider praying that the Florida amendment not pass? Why did I think it was only necessary to pass out information, write letters, send money and talk to people. What kept me from asking my G!D to help me have the strength and courage to love and accept myself in contrast to the hatred of gays and lesbians in the world.

Rabbi Geoff says we tend to be logicians and stay in our heads forgetting we live in all four worlds: physical, intellectual, emotional and spiritual. I needed to remember that my G!D is a G!D of compassion and I can set a Kavanah, intention, that is non-linear and inclusive and does not take sides. Since my G!D can hold in the womb of creation all; perhaps like our ancestor Rebecca with Essau and Jacob we can wrestle and both come out alive.

Hebrew Wisdom teaches that prayer comes from the heart. The wisdom of my heart knows this amendment to the Florida constitution was discriminatory and limiting. I wonder what kept me from going deeply inside, setting a Kavanah for what is the highest good for both sides and talking with my G!D? And then to listen to the voice of Chesed, loving kindness and Gevurah, strength, that both blend with the energy of the heart, Tifferet, beauty and equanimity.

So I set an intention to have more conversations with my G!D in and out of prayer.

Blessings of the Vav: sometimes I have to hold my passion, my logical thinking and my relationship with my G!D together. The questioning and wrestling with my G!D and then the deep listening may help me heal as the covering of my heart slowly melts away and for a moment I will feel a part of the world I often protect myself from.